MYTH: If a woman doesn't like it she can leave.
The perpetrator says:
“It’s your own fault you're in this situation".
“No-one is keeping you there, you must be happy to put up with it".

REALITY: Women cannot always leave, some reasons why may include fear, lack of money, lack of information, because of the children, thinking he will change, shame of family break down, fearing the stigma of sole parenting, no car and no where to go. The ramifications can be more serious if she does leave. Many women leave but are pursued and the violence may increase.

MYTH: Alcohol consumption is the most common cause of family violence.
The perpetrator says:
“I didn't know I was doing it"
“I won't drink any more"

REALITY: Alcohol is not the reason for violence; it is used as an excuse or gives some men the 'courage' to abuse.

MYTH: Women only get beaten when they 'ask' for it.
The perpetrator says:
“You should learn to keep your mouth shut"
“I warned you"

REALITY: No-one deserves or asks to be hurt. No one ever wants or invites violence such as family violence. These are brutal and damaging crimes, which occur regardless of how women behave. Violence is never an acceptable method of solving conflict in relationships, nor do the partners have a legal right to assault one another no matter what they may claim to have been the provocation. In reality many women report being hit from behind, with no warning. Provocation is often asking for money to feed the children, refusing to be silenced, seeing family and friends, failing to have a shirt ironed ‘properly’, or have a meal on the table 'at the right time'. The perpetrator is totally responsible for their violent behaviour.

MYTH: Violence happens mostly in poor peoples homes.
The excuse:
“They are poor and uneducated; they don't understand what they are doing"

REALITY: Violence occurs in all economic groups. It happens in all kinds of homes and neighbourhoods. Women with limited family or financial resources are more likely to come to the notice of agencies such as police, courts and welfare/community agencies

MYTH: Violent men come from violent homes.
The excuse:
"It wasn't his fault; he had a really awful upbringing"

REALITY: Not all abusers come from violent homes.

MYTH: You only hurt those who you love.
The excuse:
"He's really jealous, that's why he lashes out”

REALITY: No-one has the right to hurt you.

MYTH: Violent men are monsters/cannot control themselves.
The perpetrator says:
"I didn't mean it"
"It just happened"

REALITY: Men can control themselves, this is just an excuse. Men who are violent choose to be violent and choose not to get help to change their violent behaviour. Violent men don't usually hit their boss or others they choose to take it out on their partners

MYTH: Family Violence isn't a big problem.
"I don't know anyone in that situation"
"It doesn't happen around here"

REALITY: Family Violence is a big problem, it is just hidden.

MYTH: Children and young people are untouched and unaffected by Family Violence

REALITY: Children and young people are significantly affected by Family Violence

MYTHS allow abusers to shift the responsibility for their violence to the victim, or someone/thing else.

Family Violence is never OK.