Family Violence and Children

Family violence is an abuse of the intimate, trusting and safe relationship that a family should provide for children. Many children are subjected to violence and abuse.

“Victoria Police attends over 20,000 ‘family incidents’ each year. Children are present at more than half of those incidents”.
(Victoria Police Crime Statistics)

If children are exposed to family violence and experience the affects of family violence, workers are required to refer the family to child protection or child first services for follow up if ongoing safety is a concern.

Family violence is much more than physical abuse.
Family Violence includes:

• Emotional abuse such as manipulation, isolation, controlling behaviours, putdowns and mind games
• Verbal abuse, yelling and swearing
• Keeping control of the finances
• Sexual abuse
• Threats of violence and revenge
• Property damage
• Harming pets.

Effects of Family Violence on Children

Children who witness and experience family violence may have higher levels of behavioural and emotional problems than other children. The impact of family violence on children will vary considerably. Reactions depend on age, gender and the frequency of exposure to violence.
Indicators of family violence affecting children may include:

• Physical injuries, bruising, burns, injuries to genitals (particularly with implausible explanations)
• Sleeping –settling problems
• Malnutrition
• Developmental delays
• Insecurities for example, age inappropriate separation anxiety from mother and not necessarily evident with father
• School absenteeism and arrive early/late and at school/childcare
• Lack of concentration
• Prone to adjustment problems
• Bedwetting
• Mimicking aggressive language and behaviour in their play
• “Fight and flight” responses that often re-enact the trauma, for example, “running away”, climbing up trees, roof tops, throwing sticks and stones
• Accident prone
• Cruelty to animals
• Afraid of the person who is hurting their mother.

Reasons why the impact of family violence may vary.

Child/young person abuse and violence are not part of human development and for this reason are, regarded as traumatic experiences. The impact of the family violence on children may vary according to their age, sex, and role in the family.
Other factors influencing the impact of family violence on children:

• Children may feel responsible for the violence
• Duration of the violence
• Whether the violence is directed toward the child as well as their mother
• The experience of feeling/not feeling protected by the mother or the system
• If the parents have separated or if they are still living together
• The perpetrators attitude and relationship to the child
• Having an avenue to talk/acknowledge the violence occurred.

What can we do for children?

Adults who care for children can provide children with a safe environment and familiar routines to help them gain a sense of security. It helps to provide opportunities to enable the child to re-create a safe, protective and loving world. You can do this by including the children in everyday activities such as preparing meals and tasks in the home, reading stories, art activities, games and play.

Researchers, R. Peeled, and Davis & Diane “Group Work with Children of Battered Women; a Practioners Manual,” (Sage publications, 1995 p18) state;

“Certain factors appear to mediate the effects of trauma and nurture children’s resilience. A significant mediating factor that has been identified is access to a warm, safe supportive and positive environment, or access to a supportive relationship with at least one warm, caring person. “

Identifying children who have witnessed or experienced family violence is a starting point towards assisting and supporting them. You can also:

• Accept that an abusive family environment harms children
• Tell the children that the violence is not their fault
• Help them make a safety plan
• Place responsibility for the violence with the offender
• Support the parent/carer of the child to protect them and the children
• Contact a family violence service for further support.

Adapted from Domestic Violence & Incest Resource Centre DVIRC, Children and Domestic Violence. , 2008.

WRISC endorses the United Nations Declaration on the Rights Of The Child

• The right to affection, love and understanding.
• The right to adequate nutrition and medical care.
• The right to education and full opportunity for play and recreation.
• The right to protection against all forms of neglect, cruelty and exploitation.
• The right to name and a nationality.
• The right to special care if disabled.
• The right to be among the first to receive relief in times of disaster.
• The right to learn to be a useful member of society and to develop individual abilities.
• The right to be brought up in a spirit of peace.
• The right to enjoy these rights, regardless of race, colour, sex, religion, national or social origin.

United Nations Assembly Resolution 1368 (XIV) 20th November 1959.
Cited by Lady Gowrie resource Centre Melbourne (1999).